


What to Expect When Your Unrequited Love is Expecting

by blueoleandar93



Series: Some Assembly Required [1]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst, Baby Hank being cute and adorable and precious, Daddy!Morgan, Derek Morgan is daddy af, F/M, Flirty!Morgan, Frustrated!Reid, Jealousy, M/M, Married!Morgan, Nanny AU, Post Season 11, Reid agrees, Season 11 Coda, Spencer got a big ol' crush, Unrequited Love, babysitting au, internalized anger issues, sexy dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-20 20:00:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10669758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueoleandar93/pseuds/blueoleandar93
Summary: After Derek Morgan got married, had a baby, and left the BAU... he needed some help embarking on the uncharted territory of full time homemaking. Reid volunteered as tribute.





	What to Expect When Your Unrequited Love is Expecting

 

Reid's back and shoulders were aching from the heavy Jansport he carried, weighed down with eight different text books. He won't even mention the strain on his arms, which were burdened down with several more giants. Yesterday, the young doctor had hit up the "new parents" section of his local Barnes and Noble and maxed out his rewards cards getting as many baby books as he possibly could. His eyes stung with every blink, all sore and red from a woeful combination of a late night spent reading and a morning spent weeping about it.

He had to pull himself together before he reaches the door.

That's what he had told himself when he arrived at Morgan and Savannah's housewarming party two years ago, when Morgan's long term relationship with a pretty, brilliant nurse became real to him. That's also what he told himself as left room 601 a couple of years later when Morgan woke up in the hospital after his kidnapping, holding his girlfriend close and announcing to him and Lewis with a big smile that Savannah had fallen pregnant with his child. And it is, yet again, what he told himself when he walked alone to the church to stand as Morgan's best man at his wedding. And again, what he told himself when he walked into the hospital to see their son for the first time. And, lastly when Morgan walked out of the doors of the BAU bullpen, prepared to build a whole new life with this woman and the kid they had together.

Morgan had taken big steps to ease his way out of Reid’s life. And, even though he knows these steps weren’t the end of their friendship, it sure as hell felt like it. They weren’t partners anymore. They didn’t even see each other once a week. Morgan does online consulting now, staying home to be a full time dad for little Hank. Morgan’s happy. And, even though it’s selfish, Reid hates that. He secretly wishes Morgan would grow tired of Savannah and bored of his life at home and return to the BAU to chase bad guys with him again. But, that’s crazy. Morgan’s going to be a great father. Heck, he already is and Hank is barely even a month old.

Reid gets text messages every day about the baby. Morgan’s such a proud dad. He takes daily pictures of Hank, almost obsessively documenting the infant doing what infants do best (napping, crying, and eating) and each one is heartbreakingly adorable. Hank looks just like Morgan too, which hurts even more for some reason.

Plagued by emotions of guilt, shame, anger, abandonment, and blinding jealousy, Reid had a breakdown last week. He tumbled into JJ’s office and plunked his tiny self down in the chair opposite her desk and put his face in his hands as he started to cry. It was minutes before she even got a word out of him, petting his hair and asking what was wrong without making him feel rushed. And, Reid said it out loud for the first time: he was afraid that he was going to lose his best friend to Savannah and their child, and he was even more afraid that Morgan wouldn’t even miss him.

JJ told him that his feelings weren’t completely selfish. After years of friendship, he had grown used to having the man in his life as someone strong and loving to lean on and keep him safe; someone who would lean right back onto Reid as well. They had a unique relationship, and with Reid’s separation issues, it’s only natural that he would miss Morgan more than anyone else. The problem lay in Morgan’s inability to voice how much he needed Reid back. JJ said that Morgan had confided in her a few times about their relationship and said similar things about Reid over the years. Apparently, Morgan worried constantly that Reid would realize that he could do more good with his big brain if he put it to work with medicine, teaching, technology, etc. and just up and left him in the dust like he was nothing. But, the difference between Morgan and Reid is that Reid’s passion for his job and the love he had for his team went before anything else he could ever imagine and Morgan… _created_ something to put before his job and his team. That didn’t make Reid feel any better. If anything, that only made him angrier.

She asked if the closure he needed wasn’t provided in Morgan’s last visit to the team. It wasn’t. Actually, it made everything worse. He didn’t tell her why though. She got the birth announcement just like everyone else did. She knows Hank’s middle name. But, what she doesn’t know is how much it hurts that Morgan and Savannah named their son after him. What she doesn’t know is that he’s not flattered by it, he's pissed.

He put so much time and effort and energy into loving Derek Morgan as much as he possibly could only for Morgan to fuck some cute nurse and move in with her and marry her and knock her up and flip Reid off by loving her and their baby enough to _leave_ Reid alone and cried out, without so much as a smile sent his way every day to keep him going. Morgan left. He left. His office is empty. The seat next to Reid on the jet is freezing cold. No one ruffles his hair anymore, so he barely remembers how playful touch can feel. No one trips him or makes fun of his clothes, so he has no idea how to act or what to wear in a way that people notice. No one makes sure to call him “pretty” every day, so he’s stopped believing it.

Reid doesn’t know who he is without Derek Morgan, and when he discovered that, it shocked him. He doesn’t remember what it’s like not to have someone he can depend on to be there every day. He doesn’t know how to feel anything but sadness and regret and anger. He hasn’t smiled in days. Maybe he doesn’t know how to do that anymore either.

JJ noticed. So, she offered up some advice that Reid ended up taking.

 _Spend more time with him_ , she said, _and the baby_ . _Once you’re around him, you’ll feel better. And when you see him happy, you’ll be happy too because that’s how love works._

He called Morgan that night, the first time he’s heard Morgan’s voice since he’d left the team. The deep, strong timbre of it caressed Reid’s surname over the phone so softly that Reid could hear his smile. Reid felt it again. That warm, gushy nervousness he got whenever he was around Morgan. It was so much stronger now. Probably because of how long they’ve been apart.

They made stupid small talk for twenty whole minutes. Reid, curled up in the comfy arm chair of his apartment with his flannels on. He hadn’t smiled this much in forever. His cheeks were starting to hurt and he didn’t even care. Hanging on Morgan’s every word, he listened in to hear what he had been up to. Morgan’s life consisted of sleepless nights, insane poop stories, stepping on toys when he least expects it, and a constant handful of Lysol at the ready. But, he sounded so happy. It was infectious.

Reid told Morgan that he wished he could help out more. He surprised himself to find that he actually meant it. After bingeing on Morgan's voice so suddenly... after missing him for so long... it shouldn't have been a shock.

Sue him, but Reid wishes he could hate the child. That would make things easier. But, he can’t. From the moment he walked into that hospital room, nothing felt more satisfying than holding Morgan’s precious little son while he smiled toothlessly back up at him. Reid didn’t know why, but being with Hank felt right in ways nothing else ever did. All he wants is to make the boy happy, keep him fed, make sure he’s safe, and… _help_. Reid had trouble expressing that, but somehow, Morgan heard him through all of the missed words and fertile pauses. Morgan agreed that he could definitely use an extra set of hands around the house. Raising a child was proving to be more difficult than anything he’s ever attempted. It’s even harder on him with Savannah working 12 hour shifts at the hospital. Her maternity leave has been over for six days now, and Morgan’s got more responsibility than ever. Especially since Hank has learned how to roll. Morgan will glance at the baby, turn his head for a second, and when he looks back, Hank will have rolled halfway across the floor laughing like he didn’t give Morgan a damned heart attack. God forbid what’ll happen when Hank learns how to crawl.

He said nights were best because that’s when Savannah usually leaves for work. The saint of a woman works from seven to seven, comes home, sleeps for the four hours the baby usually stays down after his nightly bottle and diaper change at six thirty, and helps Morgan out with the baby from eleven in the morning until four thirty so that she can take a nap before work, starting the whole cycle over again. The woman is a machine. So, Reid agreed to come over to their house and spend the night twice a week to help with the baby. Morgan worried about that being too much for Reid. An infant is a lot to deal with, and he wasn’t sure Reid was ready to handle it. But, Reid assured him that this was what he wanted to do.

The next day, Reid hurried to the bookstore to stock up on as much information as he could. After work was over for the day, he spent his whole night reading up on newborns. By five in the morning, he considered himself an expert. But, after years in the Bureau, Reid knows that understanding something in theory is oceans different from actually dealing with it in the field, so he’s taking all of his knowledge at face value. He was ready for it. He was ready to help Morgan with his baby… that he made… with his wife… oh, God. Morgan’s married. Morgan’s happily married. And he has a baby. A son. With his wife. Whom he loves. Fuck.

Reid felt the tears coming on half past five in the morning.

 _Don’t cry, don’t cry, you stupid son of a bitch_ . Reid whispered to himself, _you have no reason to cry. Morgan’s happy with someone else because you never had the balls to say anything and even if you did, do you think he would have lowered his standards and dated you out of anything other than pity? Do you think he would have enjoyed you boring him with your mouth, angering him with your stubbornness, and living day in and day out dissatisfied with you in bed? No. Because you’re obviously ugly. And disgusting. And weird. And he sees you as “the best little brother anyone could ask for” . He wouldn't even **consider** you_. Reid disappointed himself and cried anyway.

So, when he walked up to Morgan’s house with his books weighing down his feeble arms, he tried not to look at the cute white sedan in the driveway with the Baby on Board sticker taped to the back window. He shifted the books in his arms and reached up to hit the doorbell with his shoulder. It rang. Within moments, he heard a heavy tread. Morgan. Reid’s throat relaxed.

The door swung open and there stood Derek Morgan, just as gorgeous as he’d ever been. Illuminated by an overhead fan lamp, he smiled. And it was breathtaking. Reid almost didn’t notice the trail of spit up on his old grey Northwestern hoodie. A moment barely passed before Morgan tugged him into the biggest bear hug of his life. Reid smiled into Morgan’s warm chest, closing his eyes as the thick, muscled arms pulled him in close and kept out everything in the world that could ever be bad.

Morgan pushed Reid out of the hug and clapped him hard on the shoulder, intense with this like he is with everything, “Hey, man, what’s up? You bring the whole library with ya?”

Reid said back fondly, “No, just half of it.”

Morgan laughed. Goddamnit if it wasn’t the best sound Reid had ever heard. Morgan gestured toward the inside of the house, “Well, I hope you read it all because I’m so tired there’s two of you. Bring both of your pretty asses in here and let me get a good look at you.”

Reid obeyed gladly, walking into the warm, family home and heading to the living room to drop the books off at the table. His arms were happy for the reprieve. As he pulled off his backpack, Morgan smacked his ass and whistled. Reid stood up sharply and turned, pointing a flushed glare at Morgan, “I see you haven’t changed.”

“Hey, you can’t fault me for looking. That’s the first butt I’ve seen in two months that I haven’t wiped myself.” Morgan got quieter, leaning in and whispering, “And that’s including my wife’s. Those vagina stitches ain’t no joke. It looks like Children of the Corn down there. Hank better be glad he’s cute, or I swear to God, I’d smack him for what he did to it.”

Reid made a face, “Ugh. Sounds gross.” A small part of him was happy that Savannah’s nethers have taken a toll. But, that part of him will never see the light of day, he swears. Reid shifted and a squeaky sound came from his foot. He glanced down and noticed the floor for the first time. Christ. It looks like Babies R Us just threw up all over the carpet. There are more toys here than he’d ever seen in his life and he worked at Disneyland his third semester of undergrad. This is fucking out of control. He can barely see the floor. There are at least six different stuffed elephants. How many can one child need?

Morgan followed Reid’s eyes, “Yeah, I know. It’s a mess. But, I’m fucking exhausted. So is Savi. I don’t know how she goes to work. Well… I guess I do. She gets two hour naps in. And I spend all of my time making sure Hank doesn’t start crying because, damn does that kid have some lungs on him. Small but mighty, I tell ya. And, last night, he wouldn’t shut up because he had crazy diarrhea. He cried for forty straight minutes. It was unbearable. Thing is, we’ve started giving him a little formula to wean him off of Mommy and I think he missed her holding him while he ate or something, but it’s crazy for Savi to breastfeed right now because we’re so busy, so I figured--”

Reid interjected, “You can start feeding him new foods by four months. His digestive tract is still forming, so it’s best to keep him on the same diet of breastmilk if that’s what his body is used to. You can refrigerate the extra milk she produces, and if you warm it up, he won’t be able to tell much of a difference -- which you probably know by now. If it’s closeness he needs, then just hold him yourself and he should be fine.”

Morgan raised his eyebrow, “Four months?”

Reid nodded, “Four months.”

“Huh. What do you know? I forgot how good it is to have you around.” Morgan stated. Reid felt himself smile before he could stop it, and he just knew his face was split wide in a grin. Morgan’s acceptance means the world to him.

Reid opened his mouth to respond and just as he did, tiny footsteps in the hallway caught their attention. The two men turned their heads and watched as Savannah entered the room in her blue Bugs Bunny scrubs and non slip Nikes. She was pushing her long curly hair into a bun on top of her head as the baby hung lazily in a carrier on her front. She wasn’t wearing a lick of make up. And she was fucking gorgeous. Reid worried that Savannah had no flaws. Savannah. Morgan’s wife. The mother of Morgan’s child. Savannah. Don’t cry. Reid forced out a smile, “Hey, Savannah.”

She let out a happy sigh of relief as she saw him, “Oh, thank goodness you’re here. Derek’s a good lookout and all, but we need a second pair of eyes around here. Did he tell you Hank’s started rolling?”

Reid nodded, glancing down at the baby who was clearly in a post-nap haze. Hank sat chubby and drooling in the chest carrier with one little hand in his mouth. It was fucking adorable. Hank looked up at Reid with curious eyes full of mischief and joy. He’s already just like his father. Reid’s heart thumped in his chest with a warmth he didn’t know he could feel. Just complete and total, soul-encasing love. Boundless, never ending love.

It's clear as day to him now. Reid _loves_ Hank.

He saw the baby a few minutes after his birth, but that was about it. There were pictures and those were nice but when he looked at Hank and Hank looked back at him, Reid knew in an instant, he would take bullets for that kid. Without question. His heart felt like it didn’t fit in his ribcage and he was flooded with emotion, so much so that he almost started to lose it. Morgan could tell. He’d spoken up, “You alright, kid?”

“He… he’s so small.” Reid said quietly in place of his unshed tears, “And-and so beautiful. Wow. God. You must be proud.”

Morgan grinned, winking at Savannah, “We did good, girl.”

Savannah chuckled as she pulled at the front of the carrier and released Hank from it, holding him out to the room, “I know. Who wants him?”

Morgan turned to Reid, “You?”

Reid held out his hands, still unnervingly emotional, “Y-yeah. Definitely.”

Morgan walked over the toy littered carpet to reach Savannah and when he did, he pressed a kiss to her cheek that managed to put even more emotion into Reid. But, it was negative energy. Pure negative energy. He needed to push that out of his system before he held the baby. _New books. Fresh coffee. Frozen yogurt. Warm blankets. Derek Morgan, topless_. He repeated the mantra in his head as Morgan lifted Hank in his hands and raised him up toward the ceiling to make the kid laugh infectiously before cradling him back in his arms. Savannah, leaned down and kissed Hank on the forehead. Hank reached up and grabbed her ear, smiling up at her as she said softly, “Okay, Bruce Lee with the Kung Fu grip.”

As she started to step away, Hank reached out his hands towards his mother and he started wailing. She took a deep breath and grabbed her keys off of the kitchen counter, running a hand down her face, “This part is never easy. He’s got separation anxiety and I hate leaving him, but bills are bills and--” she noticed the piles of baby literature on the table and raised an eyebrow, “Spencer, you couldn't possibly need all of those books.”

“Maybe not, but they're full of helpful information.” Reid shrugged, “Like, did you know that most of the time, newborn babies spit up to get the hang of feeding? When they do, they're either vomiting because their digestive tracts are still figuring out which direction milk is supposed to go in, or they’ve taken in air as well as the milk and the oxygen gets trapped in their throats with the liquid and they’re just trying to breathe. That's why they cry after. They were fed too much too fast and they were choking.”

“And, now that I’m terrified...” Savannah said with wide eyes as she headed to the door, “I’m going to go to work. Call me if anything happens. Spencer, keep them safe. Hank, no rolling too far. Derek, _no pranks_.”

Morgan stomped his foot in complaint, “Oh, come on! I haven’t seen him in over a month! I have to!”

Savannah balled up the keys in her fist and pointed at him from the door, “Throw out the silly string.”

Morgan glared at her.

Savannah opened the door and turned, “And take the snakes out of the oven.”

Morgan groaned.

Savannah walked out of the door and closed it before quickly opening it again, “And, don’t even try it with the fake blood. I know you’re going to do it. It’s not funny.”

Morgan hissed, “But, his _face_ would be!”

Savannah promised him, “Prank him, and I swear to God, I will ground you for a week.”

Morgan complained, “Fine. Fine!”

As the door closed, Reid gave Morgan a worried look, “What were you going to do to me?”

Morgan grinned slowly, “Literally everything. I wanted you _crawling_ out of here.”

Reid folded his arms and pouted, “Fine. Whatever. I would have gotten you back.”

Morgan raised an eyebrow, “Oh, yeah? I effing doubt it.”

“Hey. I’m unhinged. I watched American Horror Story last night and picked up a couple ideas.” Reid replied.

Morgan shrugged his shoulders, “I’m a stay at home dad. So have I. Join the effing club.”

Reid asked, “I’ve never heard you say ‘effing’ before in my entire life. Twice in a row is a red flag.”

Morgan bounced Hank in his arms casually and replied, “Yeah, well, Savannah’s worried that if I swear around him, his first word is going to be a bad one.”

“Babies don’t understand language until six to nine months. Just tone of voice.” Reid bent to peer at Hank’s smiling, chubby face, fixing his green Oscar the Grouch onesie at the collar as he demonstrated with a soft, loving voice, “So, you could say any goddamned shit you want to his cute fucking face and he won’t catch a word of it.”

Morgan chuckled at Reid’s lewd statement to his infant son, “God, I missed you.”

Hank smiled and pulled his hand out of his mouth, clapping them in front of Reid’s face before grabbing onto a lock of his hair, “Mmmgrrah!”

Reid’s head was tugged sharply down by the strong grip of grabby little fingers, “Ow! Geez! She wasn't kidding! He is Bruce Lee! Was his soul reincarnated in there or something! Ouch!”

Morgan smirked, “Sorry about that. Sorry. Ever since we showed him the Lion King, he won’t stop growling and tugging on shit.”

Hank pulled on Reid’s curls and in awe of the silky strands as he laughed in wonderment

Morgan remarked, “If it makes you feel better. You’re the first white person who’s hair he’s touched.”

“Ah! What a grip.” Reid said as Hank tugged his head down sharply, “What about your mom, or JJ? He never tried theirs?”

Morgan replied, “All of them have had babies. They know to keep it tied back. Here.”

Reid glanced down to see an elastic hair tie at Morgan’s wrist. The father held his wrist out to Reid and offered it to him. Reid carefully pulled his hair out of Hank’s grip and stood up straight, quickly pulling his hair back into a very small bun at the top of his head much like Savannah had done. Morgan smiled briefly, “You look really cute with your hair up.”

The young doctor tried not to blush, “It’s strictly out of necessity. As soon as I’m out of here, I’m letting it loose again.”

Morgan smirked, “What? You’re not a fan of the manbun?”

Reid glared at him, “Not as long as I don’t get my hair pulled again.”

Morgan winked, “Can’t promise that.”

There was no way he could ignore that innuendo. Reid blushed. Hard. He placed his hand over his face, “Morgan.”

“What?” Morgan smiled deviously in a way that mirrored his son, “You’re going to want to get rid of that tie too. Hank’s going to yank the shit out of that.”

Reid’s hands went to his throat as he untied the knot, pulling the cloth free from around his neck. He wrapped it around his hand and stuck it into his pocket.

Morgan added, “And to be safe, keep a couple of buttons loose. The shirt’s going to start choking you when you’re chasing him around. The second we put him down, he’s going to be on a roll. I promise you.”

Reid unbuttoned three buttons, asking, “Is this alright?”

“Perfect.” Morgan grinned and glanced downward, “And just remove your pants entirely and put them around your neck like a cape. Then, put your shoes on your hands for save keeping.”

Reid folded his arms, “Okay, now. I see what you’re doing. Not amused.”

Morgan cradled the baby in one arm, leaning over to clap Reid on the shoulder again with clenched teeth and a pinched smile, “Fine. Fine. I'll cut you some slack. I was planning on way worse before Savi ruined it, I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight if I hadn't at least got you once.”

Reid covered his blushing face with his hands and complained, “I’m sure you would have been just fine.”

“Are you kidding me? That was the most fun I've had in weeks.” Morgan said with a pitiful laugh. Suddenly, he paused and gasped, “Oh, my goodness. I just had a brilliant idea. Speaking of fun.  Here, hold this.”

Reid held out his hands, expecting something small from Morgan's line of sight and was instead passed the baby. Hank was pretty light in Reid’s hands. His legs were tiny and pulled up in the fetal position he’s used to and he was warm where Reid held him under his small armpits. Hank had little blue socks on and his feet seemed to be pedaling in the air. It was ridiculously cute. Reid smiled at Hank. Hank cooed back a dribble of mumbled consonants.

Morgan was halfway across the room and headed out into the hallway when Reid finally looked away from Hank’s cuteness. Reid asked, “Hey, where are you going?”

Morgan replied, “Imma go jerk off real quick. I’ll be back in three minutes.”

Reid’s eyebrows raised up to his hairline in shock, “Morgan!”

“What?!” Morgan slapped his hand against the wall angrily as he glared full force at Reid and pointed his finger in accusation, “I have a baby and a postpartum wife. I have a nonexistent me-time window. I have to watch him every moment while Savi’s gone and by the time she gets here, I’m passed out. The second I wake up, she’s like ‘let’s have family time’ and we have family time until she leaves and I’m back at square one with zero time to myself.” Morgan pointed at Reid harder, “I was so desperate to cum last week, I pretended I was taking a shit and she _still_ heard me through the door. I barely even have a shower every day before she calls me to help with the baby. I have. No. Time. At all. Ever. And then you called. You. An angel sent down from above to help me watch this child. So, you know what you’re going to do? You’re going to _sit down_ . You’re going to _shut up_ ! And you’re going to _let me have this_! Capise?”

Reid nodded slowly, a worried look apparent on his face.

Morgan said as he raced down the hallway, “Now, play peek-a-boo. He fucking loves that.”

And, within the moment, Reid was left alone with the baby. Hank stared at him, cooing and gurgling and making grabbing motions with his hands. Reid stared back, “Hello, Hank.”

Hank laughed.

Reid smiled reflexively back, “You’re father’s having a psychotic break, so we’re going to let him masturbate and not bother him until he’s ready to come back.”

Hank let out a soft, “Baa…”

“Yes, ‘baa’ indeed.” Reid said simply, “But, don’t worry. You’re in capable hands. I babysat a small child once before. He wasn’t as young as you, though. He was thirteen months at the time. You’re going to meet him someday soon. His name is Henry. He’s almost seven.”

Hank suddenly blew raspberries into Reid’s face, laughing and clapping his hands as the spit dribbled down his tiny chin.

Reid replied, “That wasn’t very nice. In six to nine months, I expect an eloquent apology.”

A loud moan of relief came from down the hallway, quickly curtailed with a faint, “Ah!”

Reid added, “I’m assuming you’re father’s doing an excellent job of relieving himself.”

Hank grabbed Reid’s collar and pulled it hard, laughing loudly.

Reid chuckled, “Yeah. That hurts. You should stop doing that.”

Another groan of rapture came from the hallway.

“Okay, here's what we're going to do...” Reid cradled Hank in his arms and headed toward the playpen on the floor. He stepped over and into it and sat down with Hank, letting him down on the floor. Hank immediately started rolling around. Reid then pulled his phone out of his pocket and shuffled through Pandora for his classical station, settling on Vivaldi and turning it up as loud as it will go to drown out Morgan’s unfairly sexy love noises because _wow_ Morgan was going to town on himself. Hank kept rolling gleefully until he reached the side of the playpen and then began to roll back. Reid added, “They weren’t lying. You shouldn’t be able to do that for the next two months. How can you roll so well?”

Hank ignored him.

Reid replied to his silence, “Your neck and arm muscles are superb for an infant your age. You really do take after your dad.”

Hank continued to ignore him, perfectly content rolling away.

Reid spoke, “You know, your father and I have been friends for over ten years. He saved my life. I owe him everything. And, yet, it doesn’t feel like a debt. It feels like… we’re family. And that’s what family does for one another. They help. They protect. They guide. And if he’s my family, you are too. So, I’m here. To watch over you. And, even though I don’t know you well, I love you. I love you very much. Please watch out for that Lego.”

Hank did not watch out for that Lego. Reid reached over and picked it up so that Hank could continue rolling right over it. He smiled as he watched Hank roll around. He wondered what would become of him. What he would someday do. Maybe he’d be a crime fighter or athlete like his dad. Or a caretaker and healer like his mother. Or maybe he’d be an astronaut or teacher or chef or artist. Maybe he’d have a beautiful voice and just sing and sing and sing until people cry at the sound of it. Maybe he’d study law and fight for the folks who need him. Maybe he’d make a difference to millions. Maybe he’d just make a few smile. Either way, Hank was amazing. And worthy of so much love. And--

“ _Yes… yes… yes! Uh!_ ” came bellowing from the hallway.

Reid said through his blush, “Looks like we’re going to have company soon. Here’s hoping he washes his hands.”

Momentarily, the heavy tread of Morgan’s feet stepped through the hallway and the sound of the bathroom sink came on.

Reid mumbled, “Thank God.” and picked Hank up from the floor, rolling him onto his back and handing him a small stuffed elephant. Hank laughed gleefully and bit the elephant’s plush ear with his gums, soaking it up with drool. Well. Reid’s not touching that elephant again. Distracted with the stuffed toy, Hank stopped rolling and Reid kept a hand on his chest to be sure, looking up as Morgan walked into the living room with a smile on his face, “I did it.”

“I know, heard the whole thing,” the doctor said simply, “That sounded satisfying. When was the last time you did that?”

Morgan shrugged, heading over to the playpen, “Maybe nine, twelve days ago.”

Reid’s eyes widened, “Are you serious? You haven’t masturbated in over a week? I would kill myself.”

“Christ, kid. You would?” Morgan chuckled, stepping over the playpen and sitting beside Reid, “How often do you go at it?”

Reid replied, “I’m on a schedule, so I try to do it once a day because it’s good for blood circulation and brain function to flood your body with endorphins regularly, but usually I do it three times a week. And if you don’t orgasm enough, it’s not bad for you at all, but if you’re used to doing it a lot your body goes through an arousal withdrawal because it’s used to exerting itself. So, I highly recommend carving out a time where you can relive tension.”

Morgan smiled, “Said like a true adult in his thirties who's in a long term relationship with his right hand.”

“Left hand.” Reid raised his left eyebrow, “And that's rich coming from the married man who just had his first orgasm in ten days.”

Morgan asked, “Come on, man. Let me make fun of you. Jesus. Don't have to roast me the second I sit down--”

Reid deadpanned, “You’ve been roasting me since I was twenty. You're long overdue.”

Morgan rolled his eyes, “Like all of your library books.”

Reid glared, “Wow, you're rusty. That's the best you can do? Hank, you're dad is lame.”

Morgan groaned, “Quit it! I don't want him growing up thinking I'm a punk.”

“You're going to pull that card? You literally just made fun of me. You’re getting back what you give whether you like it or not.” Reid gave Morgan a stern look, “And, Hank isn’t thinking anything bad about you based on what I said. He can't understand us, remember?”

Morgan chuckled with a wide smile, “Oh! I forgot. Shit. Cunt. Fuck. Bitch. Ass. Motherfucker. Dick!”

Reid worried, “What are you doing?”

“Cussing out loud.”

“Cognitive level or no cognitive level, I still think it's weird to say the word ‘cunt’ in front of your child.”

Morgan shrugged, “My child who can’t understand us until he’s six to nine months old. I’ve been having G-rated conversations for weeks. I’m bored of baby talk. Let’s chat. Let’s get into it. What’s the last porn you saw? Was it kinky? What was the team’s last arrest for? Murder? Kidnapping? Cannibalism? Were there limbs all over the place covered in blood and shit? Speaking of limbs all over the place, have you gotten completely fucked up lately because you’re such a bad drunk dancer. Fuck, I miss that so much. _Drunk_ dancing. I would kill someone to be drunk for like ten seconds. No, I’d kill someone for a beer. For half a beer. Like honestly. I would aim at a random civilian and let a whole clip loose in their face for just a _sip_ of Stella.”

Reid blushed, “Jesus Christ, do you need to see a therapist?”

Morgan rolled his eyes and handed the elephant back to Hank, much to the infant’s joy, “Please. I love my baby, but I’m so bored that I'm fucking unraveling.”

Reid replied, “I had two glasses of Rose with JJ last weekend and got mildly tipsy. Our last arrest was for a triple homicide. No crazy limb stuff. Just stabbings. I watched a twenty minute pornography on Wednesday and it was pretty tame.”

Morgan started to smile, “Were there boobies?”

Reid nodded, “Yes.”

Morgan asked, “White girl boobies, or black girl boobies?”

Reid answered easily, “Indian girl boobies.”

Morgan raised his hand, “Oh, fuck, yeah. Up top.”

Reid gave Morgan a high five. Morgan’s hands were softer than Reid remembers. Less blistery and shaky. He was really getting into the whole domestic thing. Reid bets that sweatshirt wasn’t even ironic.

“I missed you. Like, I really, really did.” Morgan held onto Reid’s hand for a moment longer, staring him in the eyes with an effortless smile, “You doing okay?”

Reid stared back into his friend’s eyes, not even attempting to contain the blush rising up inside of him, “I’m making it work. What about you? Does Plesantville have a double edged sword?”

Morgan patted his son’s tiny head, hand engulfing the whole top of his skull, “I’m more bored than I’ve ever been in my entire life. But, this little guy? He’s the best fucking thing to ever happen to me. He's so damned cute, it's insane. Plus, he does this.” Morgan tapped his baby’s shoulder and raised his eyebrows comically, “Buddy!”

Hank started laughing. It was loud and beautiful and dripping with drool.

Morgan smiled, saying it again, “Buddy!”

Reid grinned effortlessly watching father and child entertain each other. He felt that growing feeling in his heart again, feeling lucky to even be a part of this memory. Reid wants more. More of what, he doesn’t know. But, just just wants… it. Reid added, “Did you know that babies don’t laugh because they find things funny? They do it to connect with us because its the closest to a verbal thing that comes out of our mouths that they can replicate.”

“You’re a buzzkill and I love you.” Morgan turned to him with the smile still brightening his handsome face, “So, how’s the team? Catch me up.”

Reid stated easily, “Well, we all almost died last month in a super max prison and a shit ton of cons escaped, Rossi’s back together with his first wife, Hotch got investigated for murder, which he then got cleared for, and Garcia got a cat.”

Morgan blinked, “Fuck.”

Reid shrugged, “So, basically same old.”

Morgan raised his eyebrows, “Not really. I mean, that’s a lot. God, I feel bad for leaving you guys with that. Is everything okay now?”

Reid sighed, “As good as it can be. No one’s life is in danger as of present, and we have help getting the prisoners back. There's also a new guy on the team and he's intense and stoic and handsome beyond all reason, so… yeah.”

Morgan leaned back and ran his hand over his bald head, “Maybe I made the wrong decision by quitting completely. Maybe… maybe I should come back.”

“No! No. Stay here with your child and your--” Reid felt his throat close up for a moment, “Your wife. You have a duty to your family that… supersedes the team.”

Morgan blinked, staring back at his friend, “You’re my family too, man. You do know that, right? You’re helping me raise Hank, remember?” Morgan lifted the baby, hands under his little armpits and put him eye level with Reid, “He loves you for that.”

Reid let out a self deprecating smirk, “He’s only seen me twice. He doesn’t love me.”

Morgan pushed Hank into Reid’s face until the baby’s face smooshed against Reid’s cheek, “Yeah, he does. You’re his big brother. He just gave you a smooch.”

Reid laughed at the feeling of the soft baby squirming against his face, clearly not a fan of his position, “Oh, God. Don’t call him my little brother. That makes you my daddy.”

Morgan raised his eyebrows, winking at Reid like he was about to make an inappropriate joke and he didn’t disappoint as he replied, “Ooh, I like the sound of that in your mouth. Call me ‘daddy’ again?”

Reid glared at him, “You are aware of how fucked up that is, right?”

Morgan sighed, pulling the baby into his arms to cradle him, “Oh, yeah. Especially because I’m actually a dad. But, Savannah says it sometimes and it’s kinda hot in a ‘we’re not fucking because we’re so tired and have literally no time to ourselves and her lady parts are stitched up twelve ways to Sunday’ way.”

Reid picked up a pink stuffed bear and examined it distractedly, “Well, I’m not your wife.”

“No, you’re not.” Morgan started to chuckle, “You're definitely not. You want to know why? Because you're fun. She'd be bitching me out by now about this, that, and the third. Guaranteed.”

Reid took two stuffed animals from the floor and placed them over his chest like they were breasts, speaking in a high voice, “Ooh, I’m Savannah. I have perfect hair and a flat stomach even though I was just pregnant five seconds ago. Look at my wedding ring. Ooh.”

Morgan laughed, the baby giggling with him as his broad chest moved.

“I’m Mrs. Derek Morgan. Look at how pretty I am. I wake up from naps looking like Beyonce. And my hair is always perfect.” Reid added with a wink and a giggle of the stuffed animals, “And, guess what? My husband is an ex FBI agent and he has _tattoos_! I married such a badass stud.”

Morgan cackled, leaning his head back, “Oh, my God. I’m telling on you so hard.”

Reid dropped the stuffed animals as if they were on fire, “I only said nice things!”

Morgan grinned broadly, “But, you called me a badass. She’s going to get a kick out of that.”

Reid glared at him, “I was pretending to be her. Of course I said that!”

Morgan added, “Yeah, but she doesn’t consider me a badass. Not at all. She actually thinks I’m a bit of a wuss.”

Reid placed his hand on his chest, “W...what? How? You’ve taken like twelve bullets. You’ve killed people. You’ve survived explosions and fires and you’ve jumped in front of countless criminals and saved so many people. Derek. You’re a stone cold son of a bitch. How does she not see that?”

“She’s never seen me in the line of duty, and I don’t tell her much because I don't want to freak her out. Other than that crazy shit that happened while she was pregnant, she's in the dark about what I've seen and done. Plus, I’m different when I’m at home.” Morgan said with a shy shrug, “I make her dinner and I clean after her and the kid and I do laundry and stuff. She offered to stay home and take care of the baby and when I told her I would… she was shocked. She thought I would want to keep living that rock and roll lifestyle and come back home twice a week to a wife and kid, but I didn’t. I still don’t. I _want_ to be here all day. I _want_ to settle down and keep the house clean and raise a baby. I’ve seen enough shit. More than enough. And, I’m just… ready to slow down and be paternal. I have this domestic side to me that she didn’t expect me to have and instead of seeing it as convenient, she kind of sees it as emasculating.”

Reid blinked, “I know it doesn’t matter what I think, but, I think it’s brave. And, and so incredible. You sacrificed your career, your life’s work, to be a constant in your son’s life --to keep your family safe and comfortable. That’s the manliest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Morgan glanced up at Reid with relief coursing through his glance, “Thanks, kid. She treats me like her damn wife. It’s driving me nuts. I’m a man, you know? I wear aprons and I dust and I clean up baby poop, but--”

Reid shook his head, “But nothing. You shouldn’t have to prove your masculinity. To anyone. Even if you never spent a damn day in the field. If you baked cookies for a living, had six babies, and wore pink fluffy sweaters every day, that wouldn’t make you any less of a man. And, having a kid? That’s a tough job. Morgan, you’re killing it. I respect you.”

Morgan’s eyes watered as he blinked quickly, looking away from Reid, “Are you sure? Because I’m trying so hard. And I am _terrified_ that I'm fucking this up.”

Reid balled up his fist and tapped Morgan’s jaw softly, “Hey. You’re a good dad. You love your kid. You’re staying home and taking care of him. And he’s actually happy. Your baby is happy. Look at him.”

Morgan stared down at his giggling baby with wet eyes and couldn’t help but smile at the sight of him.

Reid added, “He loves you. He trusts you. You’re his entire world. Do you know what so many kids would do to have a father they could _love_ like that?”

Morgan kissed Hank’s soft little forehead, grinning up at Reid as a tear fell, “If you tell anyone I cried because of something you said to me, I’m going to punch you so hard in the face that you’re going to be crapping out your own thoughts.”

“That’s the Morgan I know.” Reid smiled, “Badass.”

 

\------

 

Turns out, helping Morgan with the baby was a lot of fun. Hank really did fucking love peek-a-boo. Every few minutes he was cackling with laughter. They cleaned the living room together, trading the baby back and forth in his belted chest sling, and Hank loved getting close to the floor and grabbing at it with his hands every time they bent to pick something up. Next, they fed Hank with the fresh breast milk in the fridge that Savi and Morgan almost threw away this afternoon, but didn’t because of a time crunch. Thank goodness for that because Hank will sleep better without his tummy acting up. Speaking of tummies, Hank loved bath time. They drew little faces on his pudgy baby belly with soap and Hank splashed way harder than need be with every tickle, covering the bathroom sink and floor with water that needed to be mopped. Next, they dimmed the lights in the living room and turned on some music, walking around with him and talking in low voices to soothe him to sleep. As he passed the baby to Morgan, Reid noticed how sleepy Hank was getting. He was fighting it with every blink, but Reid had an idea.

Reid walked over to his stack of books and sifted through them, pulling out a highly illustrated book of nursery rhymes, “Hey, Morgan, can we give this a whirl?”

Morgan scoffed, “Come on, man, I’ve read to my kid before. It’s like parenting 101.”

Reid replied, “I know you have, but I want to do it.”

Morgan let out a slow smile, “You do?”

Reid nodded, “Yeah. I mean, if it’s not overstepping.”

“Are you kidding me? You’ve recited enough shit to me to give me an honorary Liberal Arts degree. Of course.” Morgan smirked with the drowsy baby cradled in his arms, “It’s about time we subject our little one to it early.”

Reid felt a hard thump in his heart as Morgan referred to Hank as their little one. He knew what Morgan meant, yes, but he’s going to save that faux pas in his bank of happy memories for a rainy day.

Setting up Hank in his crib was harder than he thought it would be. The baby didn’t want to let go of them. He wanted to be held. Every time they came close to the crib, Hank would start to cry even though Morgan and Reid knew the poor kid was exhausted. To Hank, sleep meant time away from his two caretakers and he wasn’t quite ready to give that up. So, Morgan suggested holding Hank in the rocking chair while Reid read Humpty Dumpty from the other side of the room.

That worked for a couple of pages until Reid noticed Morgan’s eyes drooping more than Hank’s. If he fell asleep, the chair wouldn’t rock and Hank would get testy with the loss of comforting motion. Morgan’s heartbeat and Reid’s steady voice wouldn’t be enough. After Reid woke Morgan up for the third time, he decided that it was time to try something different. Morgan sighed and said that when Savi’s home she sings to him in the rocking chair to put him down for his naps. But, neither Morgan nor Reid could sing very well and given the new stimulus caused by Hank meeting a new person, he wasn’t too keen on going to sleep. So, they needed the rocking chair, that was a fact. But, sleepy Morgan meant that they had to switch the baby.

Reid moved to the chair after Morgan stood, and held out his arms for the baby. Hank was placed in Reid’s arms, fitful and tired with his tiny feet kicking slowly in the air.

As Reid held Hank in his arms and rocked him gently, he did what he did best. He recited Henry David Thoreau.  “ _As humans, our love may be ascending or descending. What is its character, if it may be said of it-- ‘we must respect the souls above, but only those below we love.’ Love is a severe critic. Hate can pardon more than love. They who aspire to love worthily, subject themselves to an ordeal more rigid than any other_.”

Hank started to slowly close his eyes as he listened to Reid’s voice. Reid kept the baby close to his chest, making sure his little ear was rested close to his heart so that he could feel soothed by the gentle pulse.

Morgan smiled softly, crowding in closer and placing his hand in Reid’s hair as he watched his baby slowly find sleep in his friend’s arms, “Looks like your plan of ditching a perfectly good story and boring him to sleep is working.”

Reid glared up at Morgan, "Thoreau isn't boring. He's a visionary. I'll have you know that this is one of his most titillating works."

Morgan winked, "You said 'tit'."

Reid rolled his eyes.

Morgan added, "And, you can shuffle words around all you want. Boring is boring."

“I can’t hold the baby and the book. I need to support his neck. God forbid I get creative while keeping your child safe.” Reid complained and glanced back down at the drowsy infant, “ _In love and friendship, the imagination is as much exercised as the heart; and if either is outraged the other will be estranged. It is commonly the imagination which is wounded first, rather than the heart, it is so much the more sensitive. Comparatively, we can excuse any offense against the heart, but not against the imagination. The imagination knows--nothing escapes its glance from out its eyry- - and it controls the breast. My heart --_ ”

Morgan snickered, broad chest heaving gently at Reid’s back.

Reid looked up at his friend’s jovial brown eyes, “What?”

Morgan smirked, “You said ‘breast’.”

“Looks like there are two children in this room. Shame you can’t both fit in the crib.” Reid rolled his eyes once more before turning back to the heavy lidded child, “ _My heart may still yearn toward the valley, but my imagination will not permit me to jump off the precipice that debars me from it, for it is wounded, its wings are dipt, and it cannot fly, even descendingly. Our "blundering hearts" some poets say_.”

Hank’s little eyelids started to droop, lashes batting slowly against his plump cheeks.

“That’s right, Hank. Go get some sleep. It’s okay. Your father and I love you very much. We’re going to keep you safe. I promise.” Reid felt Morgan’s hand grip at his shoulder as they were pulled in closer. This was a new emotion. Something Reid didn’t think he’d ever be lucky enough to feel. His heart was completely full. Every last space, every empty void left by a rough childhood and an even rougher adult life. Every bit of him that ever even hinted that he’d never truly have a family. Every single breath of doubt in his body. It was all filled to the brim with joy. And hope. And stability. And love. Oh, love. So much love. With this warm, sleepy, happy baby in his arms, curling up to him, soothed by his voice; and the strength and trust coming from Morgan’s tight grip as he held the three of them together… Reid almost felt as if… well… this was his family. As if Hank was his and Morgan was his and every day of his life would be dedicated to loving these two beautiful boys.

Hank’s drooling, toothless mouth let out a tiny yawn and Reid felt his heart grow even bigger with every second of it.

He never knew he could love someone so much. He knows, he knows, he says this all the time, but honestly. Truly. He loves this baby. He will always love this baby. Forever. That’s it. And Morgan? He’ll love Morgan past forever. Beyond years and decades, beyond life and death, when they’re just two ghosts chilling on the spirit plane and kicking ass and cracking jokes or whatever the fuck kind of buffoonery they’ll get up to when they’re dead. He’ll love Morgan until the world dies. He’ll love Morgan until the universe collapses. He’ll love Morgan when there’s no existence possible to calculate. 

Reid turned his head to the left a bit to catch a glimpse of the man he will always love, and in that moment, Morgan was looking at Reid and Reid was looking at Morgan and nothing fucking mattered but this. Morgan knew. Reid could feel it. He knew that Reid loved him right now more than any time in their lives. He knew that Reid wishes he was holding their son. Reid could see it in his eyes. But, Morgan didn't look like it was bothering him. Quite the opposite, actually.

Morgan smiled softly, “Jeez, kid, you’re so good with him…”

“I know.” Reid sighed as he felt Hank nod off softly against his chest, his tiny cheeks smooshing against his shirt as Reid cradled his delicate, soft haired head, “He’s a great kid. Easy to love.”

Morgan said with a knowing smile, “I know. Just like his daddy.”

Reid grinned down at the baby, “You’re not lying.”

Morgan let his hand trail up from Reid’s shoulder to twist his fingers around his curls, pulling a tendril loose from where Reid had it tied up, “So, you’re gonna keep coming back? Helping us out? I don’t mean to play this card, but Hank really likes you. And, you know, I really likes you too.”

Reid closed his eyes at Morgan’s gentle touch, his skin leaving trails of heat after every trace of his strong hand gently playing in his hair, “Are you kidding me? I would love to come back. A big part of me wishes I didn’t have to leave tomorrow.”

Morgan’s eyes softened as he gazed down at the young doctor, “Me neither. How awesome would it be to have a live-in genius nanny with an ass that won’t quit?"

Reid started to smirk, "What is it with you and butts?"

Morgan winked, "If I get you a maid uniform with a tiny little skirt, will you pretend you hate it or will you actually put it on and start dusting the house?”

Reid opened his eyes only to roll them up at his friend, “Ha ha.”

Morgan smirked, “For real though, thank you for the help. I knew I needed it. God love her, but Savi finds it way too easy to leave me here for hours and hours. No calls, no messages, no check ins. And, it’s all up to me and Google to keep our little Toothless Wonder here alive. That’s a lot of pressure, man. It’s good to have someone here I can count on to have my back.” Morgan blinked down to his adorable sleeping infant, admiration in his eyes as he reached down to brush Hank's wispy hair off of his forehead, “And his too. I don’t know, Spence, I just feel less stressed. Like I can actually handle this now. I can’t tell you how priceless that is. And the fact that you’re gonna keep this gig up? Man… I really owe you one. Hell, I owe you two. I owe you thirty.”

“Well, now that you mention it, I’m going to keep those stored up for a rainy day and let you know.” Reid grinned up at Morgan.

**Author's Note:**

> I might turn this into a 'verse. If I do, there will be eventual Morgan/Reid, but due to Morgan's canon marriage, I feel weird about writing him as a cheater (even if he's cheating with Reid -- his true love tbh). Give me your thoughts please. T_T


End file.
